Rambling Roads 🏵

My son bit me today. It was like a demon possessed him in his complete frustration with me telling him NO. Why then and not the thousands of other times I say no throughout the day, I don't know. But for whatever reason this particular NO set him off and I watched an alien energy fill him like a balloon. He floated a million miles away. I was a stranger to him. All he saw was some outer force trying to limit him, and he lashed out. I can see that now, but then I was in shock. Awash in anger, fear, and a deep feeling of betrayal. All this time I've felt a secret pride for raising an energetically independent but considerate child. He is kind and compassionate, wonderful to his new sister. Tells me he loves me regularly and that he misses me when I go on a run. He holds my hand so consciously. Curls up in my lap in the morning. Throws his little arm around me when he climbs in bed with us in the middle of the night. He even shuffled into the bathroom last week and pat...

At birth the one became two. At her christening I stood before my community and surrendered her to the universe confirming my faith in a higher power that I trust to guide and care for her. I accepted my role as a vehicle for her soul to enter into our world. Promised to do everything in my power to create a loving, healthy, and stimulating environment for her to send down roots, grow, and blossom in. But now comes the embodiment of these intentions. I have to become that person. Live up to her potential. Be the mom she deserves. The tricky part is that being that mom means being more than a mom. I need to become the best woman I can be. I have to live up to my own dreams. Nourish myself. Send down roots, grow, and blossom. Live the words. Be the example. The reality of my life right now means part of being that woman includes returning to work. Why does that cause such a fracture in my identity as a caring mom? Why can't I gather up the different parts of my life like...