The Big Change

I LOVE the idea of hot flashes.
What an amazing metaphor!
Moments of rapturous heat
tumbling entwined, eyes locked,
body intimately tangled in the messiness of the present.
Peeling off clothing,
standing bare chested, open
to receive even the slightest relief of a breeze.
The sensation of my muscles blazing warm,
Pulsing with passion,
so limber and agile
suddenly so sultry
I smile,
overflowing with life
until sweat seeps out of my pores.
Releases the pressure,
Cleansing like soft rain…

Then comes the chill of being wet and exposed.
Piling on blankets, wrapping a scarf snug around my neck
chills rattling my bones, brittle
the skeleton of unanswered questions
the loneliness of cold.
Nothing seems to soothe the sting
of time marching across my skin
My well-worn heart.

Sleeping with death,
my most reliable companion.
The only one that doesn’t leave
as the morning light permeates my room.
Her hand to hold as I pass through this maze and into the next.
I might as well turn to face Her.
Offer Her my worries and doubts.
Feel her inhale them into something much larger than I can ever imagine
And they are gone. 
Leaving me room to breathe. 
She is compassion though Her hands feel icy. 

And soon the temperature begins to rise again. 
And I laugh at the futility of clocks and thermostats. 

The arrogance of humans.

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